Sad poem..

This heart..heart of mine..is just that really fragile..i kept hurting myself living this present..being lost in the hectic days..i just don't knw..when this pretending life would end..giving a smile..being happy..but inside..is nt the usual self..it's rather an empty space..dark with no light..alone inside..the dark..

Sad poem..

This heart..heart of mine..is just that really fragile..i kept hurting myself living this present..being lost in the hectic days..i just don't knw..when this pretending life would end..giving a smile..being happy..but inside..is nt the usual self..it's rather an empty space..dark with no light..alone inside..the dark..

Living my days pretending to be just fine...but ending up being hate and ignore by her...

It start on the day i wnt to stop think abt her so much...and it also seems to be..a way i want to forget her...i've decided...to send an email..it just i dont knw why i sent..bt it really hurt her feelings...i then..send an apology mail..bt i seemed rather useless..i kept trying to apologise to her..it was really a stupid act...stupid...everytime a really try to apologise to her..bt she just ignore me..this heart..want to try to think less abt her..has becme more caring towards her..worry more..missing more..and even..stil want to love her..bt no matter what i do its just no use..it makes me sad bt even more sad when i hurt her feelings...i just cnt do much anymre..i feel that i make her cry..stil in this heart i want to be someone that is there for her..comforting her..bt i guess i cnt be that someone..i just..kept getting lost..until nw she kept ignoring me..and i just dnt hav the power to..make it lyk the situation before..here in my heart..i dont hav anyone else other than her..forgive me..misaki-chan..a.k.a zati...=(

Been a while..

As it seems to be..it has been a while..since my last post..these days..i felt myself..at the end of sumtyn....i just dn't knw why...i fall in love with someone..who is a nice person that i've met..for just..mre than 6 months..bt nw she's away..and yet..i just dont knw..if..all i've done would be appreciate..

Kyo wa..

Today something is nt good happening to me..im bleeding for the 1st time in my life..its unexpectd..addition to that i'm nt feeling very well..and its the 1st day of school after holiday..and the next holiday will start on 1/12

Should i...

Today is the 1st raya for brunei darussalam..i feel so sad nt because of raya..its because of sumtyn that i did..it should be a happy..i guess pretending to be happy and being hurt,sad inside would help..i just can't feel any pain..throwing myself to the wall..even hitting the seems to be painless..what hav i become..?should i..continue to live?or should i die?should i live alone with scars inside?should i pretend to live happy..while hiding the sadness and the pain inside?*sigh*

This feelings inside me...

Hw could i..hw could i be so dumb,stupid,nt thinking of this..the feelings i had for her is just too deep..everything i do everyday seems be remembering her..evrytime having tea i remember her..everytime doing housework i remember about her..even listening to my fav.japanese song koishikute from uverworld..remember her but why in the end..she seems to be nt to care how i feel..it hurts to think that she's nt caring..i just dnt knw anymre..i guess i just waste my time..even though that time is precious to me..

Early morning...

Good morning~ haha it's in the early morning that i've decided to post sumtyn~ haha but im nt so sure what to post..im here..lying down at my bed thinking what i would post..im thinking of sum1 also..obviously..'the blooming flower' haha..now here watching tv..discovery channel..abt most evil person on earth..*sigh* its kinda interesting documentary..get to knw hw a serial killer develop to kill people and hw delusion help them..to kil people..i shall end this post nw..im looking foward to chat with misaki-chan today~

Yokatta~

Phew~ it's just the beginning to anytyn new..raya is arnd the corner already..well today so much happened i guess..today had to clean evrytyn in the living room n mke it nice for raya..and chat with misaki-chan today..it's nice..it mke me feel alot better than any day i could possibly remember..well i stil worrid abt her..all i can do is pray for her safety there.we chat as usual..talking abt simple things..and for the 1st time after severel months..i see her face again..cute~ haha..idk what's happening to me these days..i began to think deeply as i could..searching for an answer for any mistery..i forgot to mention..she was teasing me..*im unlucky always kna nyaya* haha..wel i gt nthng to say no more..poems wil be postd arnd next week..k signing off..bye..

Is it me or someone inside me...

It seems that i'm just in a sad mood..the first time i fall in love with someone..i had my 1st depressed days..but now..im in love with someone by first sight..which is away in u.k nw..and now i'm having my first days being so sad..i don't know why..but im really into her now..really really into her..

I kept repeating these things in my previous post..i'm really really sorry to the one reading this because..i just don't know what to post..i'm feeling so lonely...

Poem...

So..i hav decided..that..i will post some poem regarding hw i feel just to..make this blog..filled with something..n i will post something..regarding..how..go through my year..

Sorrowful year..

It;s been a while for the last post..i;ve not been very..well..just..missing someone so badly..who is far away studying now..tears..fall without a reason..as i listen to my new fav.song..UVERworld- koishikute....as i remember her..i feel emptyness..n i don't want anyone else but her..sigh..

1st day...

*sigh* it's been couple of hours that she left brunei..even if im nt at the airport last nyt..bt..i cn feel her presence is nt here..and the weird thing is i was sad..as if i was at the airport..seeing her leave..the next thing i want today is be a bit better..and stdy sumtyn also try to less communicate with other people..

Bye.. :'(

*sigh* i wil sure reli2 miss..her..i just cnt help it..she the most special and unique friend that i've got..bt for me she seems to be mre than a friend..i fall for her early this year..as in a 1st sight love they say..it's just..i dnt knw..fate mkes u to meet and see each other...it's just unbelieveble..*sigh* and today she's leaving..it wil be tough to handle..its just as if she took my heart or should i say she's the one for me..damn..i shudnt post sumtyn lyk this..i knw she wil get upset with me..and..im realise that i wrote such thing..emo-ish they say..i just assume that it's sumtyn sentimental..bt its nt..poem..i wil post here when i wrote a new one..bt then again..i wil just stop wrote for her n just write for myself..it's just im doing for her so that she won't get annyd with me..

world end

The light that was born at the world’s end is now in the wind

I can’t live just by whitewashing
I can’t heal just by kindness

What was stolen?
In an unchanging world
What did I hear?
A colorful song

Everything is bright

So to let shattered dreams echo to the edge of tomorrow
Light was born at the world’s end; we become one
Now in the wind

I can’t laugh like it’s someone else’s business
I can’t wipe it away just with loneliness

What was won?
At the end of the fighting
What did I hear?
A sad shout

Everything is crying

So to let shattered dreams echo to the edge of tomorrow
Light was born at the world’s end; we become one
Now in the wind

Don’t let anyone cry; return to your filled heart
Overcome just about everything already

Everything is bright

So to let the sky that I saw back then reach ahead of my wishes
In the morning that creates the world’s beginning, we’re pure white
Now we become the wind

A day..

~listening to ikimono gakari- koi suru otome~

It's been a while since i post something here last time..well i had my exam..physics im surely fail..chem hav chnce at least c as wel as maths n gp..

Today..5.34 am im viewing and reading the 60+ msg being send by zati to me...it's been a while i havent chat with her..bt do msg her yesterday..hehe..i was wrong that she would lie to me..but she's wonderful as always..well she made me smile with her msg...haha

My last exam is on saturday..chem paper 2 and i'm going to prepare for it..i'm not going to school for 3 days so that is the chance for me to score this chemistry..as i didnt do well on paper 1..gambarimasu~

I guess i want to change my layout next time~ myb a sakura theme or ikimono gakari or something that has a flower theme~ hahaha..im done with japanese gothic for a while..still they're cool

I'm signing off now until next time~haha myb i will update my blog after the exam..well saturday is the last anyway

true facts~

did you know that every night before you go to sleep there is one person of the opposite sex thinking of you. They want to kiss you, they want to be with you, they are always thinking about you, this is all true and not fake.
> advice....
> WHEN SHE SAYS YOU ARE CRAZY/WEIRD
> -SHE IS REALLY CRAZY ABOUT YOU!
> WHEN SHE ACTS SHY
> -SAY I LOVE YOU
> WHEN SHE RUNS AWAY FROM YOU
> - CHASE HER
> WHEN SHE PUTS HER FACE NEAR YOURS
> - KISS HER
> WHEN SHE KICKS & PUNCHES
> - HOLD HER TIGHT
> WHEN SHE IS SILENT
> - SHE'S THINKIN OF HOW TO SAY I LOVE YOU
> WHEN SHE IGNORES YOU
> - SHE WANTS ALL YOUR ATTENTION!
> WHEN SHE PULLS AWAY
> - GRAB HER BY THE WAIST AND NEVER LET GO
> WHEN YOU SEE HER AT HER WORST
> - TELL HER SHE'S BEAUTIFUL
> WHEN SHE SCREAMS AT YOU
> - TELL HER YOU LOVE HER BUT MEAN IT!!
> WHEN YOU SEE HER WALKING
> -SNEAK UP BEHIND HER GRAB HER BY THE WAIST AND GIVE HER A KISS
> WHEN SHE'S SCARED!!!!!!!!!
> -HOLD HER AND TELL HER EVERYTHING WILL BE OK CAUSE SHE'S WITH YOU
> WHEN SHE LOOKS LIKE SOMETHINGS THE MATTER
> - KISS HER AND TELL HER NOT TO WORRY
> WHILE SHE HOLDS YOUR HAND
> - PLAY WITH HER FINGERS
> WHEN SHE SAYS SHE COLD
> -SHE WANTS YOU TO HOLD HER TIGHT

yay~ new equipment~

yoshhh~ well start from the top..my new dark blue gi hakama..hah2nd..my new and first bokuto~ red one it is....next..my new shinai..high grade one..haha the end...haha simple..

Friendship Poem~

Arghhh! The friendship poem..i still don't have the right expression..and faisal is leaving tommorow..this poem..i should have finish it..before he leaves bt..stil i have to finish it perhaps later..

Today~

Well..today went really well..even chat with riku today makes the day a bit brighter hmm too bad..i can't go to the airport to say goodbye and see farhan leave...well i don't have any transport...the bad thing about today is~ i watch bamboo blade for the whole day~hahaha..

~yawn~

Too tired these days..i don't know why..i've started my P1 maths revision just a bit..but will keep it up..

Kendo equipment hasn't arrive yet...and i wonder why..suppose to be last week bt then...not yet arrive..hope it arrive today..amin~

Hmm..haven't see zati online for a while...but then..riku is but kinda worry about her cause she's not feeling very well..

That's all...been a while not posting anything..but still at least i post this one..

Past few days~

Well it's been a bit while since i post something here...haha..well..i've been a bit busy..since..the end of year exam is just in a few more weeks..time to prove..what i can actually do when i'm really conctrate and determined..about the poem..i still can't get..the right poem to write..hehe..hm..faisal and farhan will be leaving next week...and hope zati is going to leave next month even though..she told me she'll be leaving in september...

Wakaranai yo~

Hm..i've chat with zati yesterday..and i feel that..when im concentration about something and was texting with someone..can make me do text her something which it was not suppose to mean it..well even if i want to prove that it was accidental..it will be up to her..

2 days ago~

Well something happened 2 days ago..and it was at midnyt where i was chatting with riku..it's been a while since we chat last time..but when chatting with her again..it's kinda fun..hehe..we talk a bit of how are we doing and so much about..kendo..well i got new rival now that is her brother hafiz..which is a young talented kendoka..

*yawn~*

I woke up again today at 11.00..was asleep around 8.30..i just don't know why..im going to do some revision now..well the last few post is 'over expressed' *sigh* well i apologise about that...

em..upcoming events..;
-Receiving new kendo equipment(which i will post with some of the picture by sunday)
-kendo annual dinner at asma hotel..(hoping to come..and will confirm it to come...i want to come so badly cause riku is around~ hehe..will try my best to come..and will take alot of pictures to be upload here..)

よる~yoru~

Emm...today seem to be a bit not ok day for some reason...and tomorrow i have my chem test..i'm so tired now..thinking too much..*sigh* i still wish i could see her now..living on is what i'm doing now..i'm going to sleeping now..haha..lame post..

~Maybe~

I just don't know why...but i think im thinking to much again and worrying to much again~ *sigh* keeping myself to this feeling of hard to let go...someone..and maybe..that's the reason i miss misaki-chan..

~Konban~

*sigh* it was a nice afternoon actually...but something is not right..i just don't know why...but i miss..misaki-hime..and i don't why again i use 'hime'...*i know you will read this..i'm sorry..calling you hime..zati..* i just miss her..now..shoot! I must hold myself together..argh..

~Yesterday~

Hi anyone who is reading..my post today..it's still early in the morning...em..it's 6.45..haha..yesterday..was a nice day..and at last i chat with misaki-chan and i enjoy it..she makes me everytime...*smile* hehe..for some reason she also make me inspired to do things..hehe..i wish i could see her for the last time..but..she's busy..so can't really meet up with her..ok..im signing out nw..will update later in the afternoon..^__^\ /

I'm back~

It's been about 3 days i haven't post anything..well i've been busy..and..yea..i'm working on my 1st non-love poem...hehe..i hope it would be a nice one...well yesterday i had my maths test..and feel that it's a bit easier than the last time..i wonder..did they make the 3rd MPR to be a bit easier than last time? Haha nevermind about that..oh yea..i almost forgot..i should have receive my equipment yesterday..but my senpai said..next week it should come..yay! New kendo equipment..

It's been a while i didn't post anything which has picture..well..all this time..im using my mobile phone to blog..hehe..i guess..will post some picture next time..until next time..time to sleep..im blogging at the wrong time today..and it's almost 12...signing out now..ja ne!

せかい~sekaii~

I don't know how many days are left...but..no matter...what..i will keep myself being consistent on what i'm doing..i know it's hard to be consistent..nevertheless just try and believe on what i can do tomorrow..=) i guess i will keep posting something like this..motivating myself..until i get my desired result..insya-allah dapat..

Hahaha..my title is a not connecting on what i post here..haha..i don't know why my topic is that..anyway..そかい~sekaii~ means..this world/world..haha it's not related at all..maybe just give it a title since without a title would be plain..the reason my title is like that is because...i kept wondering about my dream..is it going to be true? Well..i would just work hard and keep believing that it will be true..my friend said, 'work hard..so that you will make it worth it..' something like that...hahaha..i sure will try to make it become true..not just talk..talk and dreaming..

About today...school is as usual..normal..chem haven't hand in 3 h/w and luckily teacher wasn't really angry..but i have to do it tonight..then have to continue copying the maths notes..*sigh* afternoon class was physics..haha fun practical today..because my 4 friends and i was discussing about the error and how to improve out experiment..my friend shin khai..share his 'full prove answer' haha but the thing is..i think 1 of the improvement is kinda weird..haha..got home after class..and was suppose to continue to copy the maths notes..instead..i slept from 3.45 until 5..lapas asar lagi tuu..na buleh di amalkan..

So i end this post for today..haha..oh yea..today we also had an oxbridge talk..i don't know what's it all about..haha..ok then..to infinity..and beyond~ hahaha~

~なに???~

What a day~ i spend my afternoon copying maths notes~ and still im nt finish...im bored to death..luckily there's my cousin to chat with..and munirah to chat with..but..where is zati?? Bowh..*mencari ea ku*maybe i would finish the notes by today..but i'm sleepy now...hahaha..i will read something 1st then sleep..then wake up early and copy the notes again...still it would be a tiring day..

~A wonderful poem~

An adorable poem which makes you happy has touched my heart. . .between love and happy poem. . .both seems to be the same for me as it makes you happy. . .

Your words. .words that i have expected. . .words which makes me happy. .words which makes me smile. . .

Sometimes. . .i wonder how romantic will you be. .with your guppy face and beautiful smile. . .as well as the 'ngahngah' cuteness. . .

I stand under the azure sky. . .as i wrote this poem. .thinking of you. .your elegentness. . .your cuteness. . .

Again! Hahaha!!

Hahaha...i'm bored..the cute adorable zati is not online...she would have read about my result...but still will going to prove to her..haha..and also faisal..even if they're in uk (hope they bring their mobile phones) i will text them! Hahaha!! Oh yea..tomorrow is tuesday~ my fav.day~ hahaha will go home at lunch..and will prepare for the next battle (end of year exam)...yosh!! Will strengthen my spirit!!

A new step to a new success...

Today was not really a great day for me...well...i failed my physics and maybe also my chemistry..it will be a tough moment since..1 month from now...it will be a hard working days...i've enjoy failing..now will achieve a new success to enjoy it..hahaha..sounds promising..but will do my best..using my ability..analysing my own weakness..and improve it..sounds like a lie..analaysing..hahaha but depends people to believe it..hahaha..why do my results are that bad..have i been sleeping in thoughts for the past few months??*sigh* here i am talking about my progress..hahaha okay! For just a month to work hard would be fine! Then..i will keep my words!

Argh!!

What a day...a bit stressful today..failed my physics again...*sigh* well there's a last chance in september..therefore will put 100% effort...gambarimasu!!!

simple love poem...

The first time i saw you..i was enthralled...amazed by your cuteness..it caught my heart..and felt like..someting wonderful to be reminisce about..which ends up me..smiling calmly..in a peaceful way..

あした~ashita~

nee..i was planning what i can do..therefore i've decided..on writing a poem and insya-allah will post it here..hahaha oh yea..tomorrow is monday..i hate mondays haha chem practical as always..will go back home at 3 and md is always a tiring but..as i said i will be determined..so will work hard then.. but will keep updating on what i do..haha using my blog to improve my studies..what a great idea..some people would have used it before..hahaha...

everyday is the beginning of a new day.. new day...

well..kinda weird title..hahaha but anyway..since both my best friend faisal and my adorable cute friend zati..are going soon... for their scholarships...so it makes me a little bit more determined so that i will not fall behind..i will let them know..that i will also get a scholarship..but a different path from them..we will see what will happen..i wish them good luck..and guys..WAIT FOR ME!! hahaha so then..it begins..the whole new part of..a new chapter in my life..hehe gambarimasu~

late post on having sushi~

aww.. man..i forgot to take a picture before we eat..haha

Was juzai depress about the sushi??


well..that day was a bit fun...it was my first time eating it..kinda raw but..good..hahaha..juzai was complaining about it..he said..
"kalau bali d mcD bnyak jwa.." hahaha well it cost us $94.00 that's why..hahaha..our senpai is leaving for a scholarship..and left us with $100..to spend..haha

song lyrics~

it was a boring afternoon and got nothing to do so..i've decided to post a translated japanese song from one of my favourite..


A DAY DREAMING

For example, if you were by my side
And about to crumble over something
I'd probably secretly offer my hand
Without saying a word
I want to always gaze at the miracle
Happening beneath this sky

The sunlight comin' through a window
The focus point still looks kinda off
I don't want to wake up, because I want to dream a little longer
Even though I really love this moment, to me
You seem to be a sleepin' mermaid, right up to your fingertips
Stay with me; I want to smile brightly and just stay by your side...

Though I can't say anything
But trite words right now,
Everything just as it is
Envelops my heart
What kind of future can I see
Inside of flowing time?
We will always
Believe in tomorrows drawn with hope

When you are covered in darkness
I'll become your light--I'm not afraid
A lot of time went by, I wish we could stay this way, I dream of the future
If I shed tears, it's from laughing so hard, so together we'll make up the vivid color
Unpretentious words for you: I wanna be with you...

I want to forever embrace
A kindness so gentle it overflows

Though I can't say anything
But trite words right now,
Everything just as it is
Envelops my heart
Because I want to keep dearly protecting
Forever, inside my breast
How I was able to meet you
Underneath this vast sky

For example, if you were by my side
And about to crumble over something
I'd probably secretly offer my hand
Without saying a word

*sigh*

i just found out the my friend will be leaving soon for scholarship..*sigh* but it makes me determined now~ XD hehehe

israk mikraj celebration at cousin's house~

the cousin's with their frestyle pose~~

mom with 4 little cousin's~ they look like a pendekar laah~

Tadaima~

It's been awhile...yea kinda busy lately..n i had 2 test today~ i hope it will nt be any u's anymore~ haha i've decided on something now..haha good luck me~ wil post again later..

Unexpected!!

It ws something unexpected happened last night. . .i just suddenly sign out my blog..n the next thing i remember..'uhh..what is my password..?'haha i ws lyk wth..cna ne ah? Luckily i recover it..just using this mobile phone haha sounds skadar..bt if idk hw to recover it..then i would nt start blogging again

So far so good as expected. . .

Relieved nw...haha chem test is over..yay! So far the test was ok..and finally i undrstand the topic bit by bit..nw it's gp class..n NO teacher! Yay! Hpe it wil go as smooth as i expected today..

おはよ~ -Ohayo~-

Yea..today a new start of the day..will have my test for the 1st period..and will do my best..haha..bt..it's early in the morning..~__~ haha just hoping it would be a good start in this morning..i will continue later~ over and out..haha

あい の うた

In one lonely night...i was alone..suddenly my thoughts..fleeting away..as if..i miss something more important than myself..is it a person? A feeling? Or is it just the emotion that i want to feel?

Over a thousand night..those ..feelings..kept haunting me and wandered..is it love..? I kept thinking that person..as if..she..is my life..or my energy to do things..

Tomodachi の うた

Friends are like flowers in the garden of life...in a garden that i never felt so alive..you...one of the wonderful friends..your smile...makes the colourful petals...and my laugh as the perfect bloom

They say every clouds has thier silver lining..i want to grab them for you..which reminds me a lot of cotton candy...do i need wings to fly..?it's always so high..to reach it..but you make me fly without wings...that is love..in friendship means cling

Poems u wrote..curved the eclipse shape on my lips..fear that i could burst any minute.. with my guppy face i say 'ngahngah' every minute..this is all i can return for your sincere words with this sincere words also i return this to you...

Written by misaki-chan ^_^ for me. . .

Living with determination. . .

When the time..reaches 12 a.m sharp.. It will be a new start for me i guess..even i had feelings for someone..being sad again..i would let that be..and try to be what i want..n will do something when im still alive..the most important thing is..i will do my best to achieve my dream..

Disturbing thoughts. . .

Argh..i just cn't get over with her!! Then i got feelings for someone...it just feels that you are in a crowded space.. N hard to breath..it's kinda same in that situation...it feels that u want to stop living but..my friends just kept me alive i guess..misaki-san,zaitul and my other friends..they all just want to see me alive and happy in a certain ways..

A day

*sigh* the day start as usual. . .but kinda weird when the speaker..that usually an al quran reading..read by the MPI..turns out to be..a tahlil prayer..i was wandering..as usual went to the registeration room..sat down..and suddenly..my friend akmar was talking with my other ain..about accident..on last saturday..i couldn't listen clearly abt what they were talking abt..cause i was listening to my songs..so i ask what happened..then what i abt to hear ws nt i expected..my friend's mother past away..n i felt sorry for him..n i knw hw it feels..he ws absent today..i knw he ws shocked abt it..the 1st period was..gp..i felt so..n depress abt what..happened to me..a heart breaking moment yesterday..next class maths..turn out to be well..then break..n physics class after break..then my P.S..n lunch..aftern0on class was chemistry..at 3.30 pm..eat sushi n sashimi...yay! Something that i expect! Hahaha! 1st time eat a raw fish n raw salmon..n it was good~ today would be some sort of a sad/depressing morning to a normal..kinda nt really happy ending for the day...what a day..never felt like it before..i end this post i guess for today..

Bored...

*sigh* something had happened just now...i felt dizzy as if..im going to faint...n nw..im at my room doing nothing...haha unlikely to be like this..test on thermochem..is just around the corner..haha *malas* i think this 2nd post shall end n0w...study time..yay! So sudden..im being a hard working person..*actually chatting* N yea tomorrow will be a nice day..eat sushi n sashimi~ hehe yay! :)

Untitled..

Hmm..today was a hard day..for some reason..i start to create my own blog...maybe it's my best friend zaitul influence me..haha but will try to update it..haha TRY.. Here i go the 1st post of my 1st time blogging