Sad poem..

This heart..heart of mine..is just that really fragile..i kept hurting myself living this present..being lost in the hectic days..i just don't knw..when this pretending life would end..giving a smile..being happy..but inside..is nt the usual self..it's rather an empty space..dark with no light..alone inside..the dark..

Sad poem..

This heart..heart of mine..is just that really fragile..i kept hurting myself living this present..being lost in the hectic days..i just don't knw..when this pretending life would end..giving a smile..being happy..but inside..is nt the usual self..it's rather an empty space..dark with no light..alone inside..the dark..

Living my days pretending to be just fine...but ending up being hate and ignore by her...

It start on the day i wnt to stop think abt her so much...and it also seems to be..a way i want to forget her...i've decided...to send an email..it just i dont knw why i sent..bt it really hurt her feelings...i then..send an apology mail..bt i seemed rather useless..i kept trying to apologise to her..it was really a stupid act...stupid...everytime a really try to apologise to her..bt she just ignore me..this heart..want to try to think less abt her..has becme more caring towards her..worry more..missing more..and even..stil want to love her..bt no matter what i do its just no use..it makes me sad bt even more sad when i hurt her feelings...i just cnt do much anymre..i feel that i make her cry..stil in this heart i want to be someone that is there for her..comforting her..bt i guess i cnt be that someone..i just..kept getting lost..until nw she kept ignoring me..and i just dnt hav the power to..make it lyk the situation before..here in my heart..i dont hav anyone else other than her..forgive me..misaki-chan..a.k.a zati...=(

Been a while..

As it seems to be..it has been a while..since my last post..these days..i felt myself..at the end of sumtyn....i just dn't knw why...i fall in love with someone..who is a nice person that i've met..for just..mre than 6 months..bt nw she's away..and yet..i just dont knw..if..all i've done would be appreciate..

Kyo wa..

Today something is nt good happening to me..im bleeding for the 1st time in my life..its unexpectd..addition to that i'm nt feeling very well..and its the 1st day of school after holiday..and the next holiday will start on 1/12

Should i...

Today is the 1st raya for brunei darussalam..i feel so sad nt because of raya..its because of sumtyn that i did..it should be a happy..i guess pretending to be happy and being hurt,sad inside would help..i just can't feel any pain..throwing myself to the wall..even hitting the seems to be painless..what hav i become..?should i..continue to live?or should i die?should i live alone with scars inside?should i pretend to live happy..while hiding the sadness and the pain inside?*sigh*

This feelings inside me...

Hw could i..hw could i be so dumb,stupid,nt thinking of this..the feelings i had for her is just too deep..everything i do everyday seems be remembering her..evrytime having tea i remember her..everytime doing housework i remember about her..even listening to my fav.japanese song koishikute from uverworld..remember her but why in the end..she seems to be nt to care how i feel..it hurts to think that she's nt caring..i just dnt knw anymre..i guess i just waste my time..even though that time is precious to me..